Brens Rokku

Brens Rokku
Let's go party!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The season to be Jolly?

So Christmas came by just recently and I must say it was quite fun. We played Band Hero and Tekken 6 all day with the peoples so it was amazing. Apparenlty Filo's rock Christmas to the max? But I don't know, I guess we just like every excuse to party. New Year will be off as well. Because theres going to be a drink up at my place. Yay so I'm looking forward to that. Due to the fact that I DON'T drink at all. Because I like to do things that other people don't do. If that makes me antisocial then so be it. I'm kidding, but I don't drink alcohol. I went to to the doctors a week before Christmas and I was diagnosed with a swollen throat. Too much deep throat I think, I'm kidding. I haven't done enough in the past month. Nah I'm not sure actually. I like to confuse myself in ways and writing posts on my blog is one way which I succeed in doing so. So back to the story. The doctor told me to by some Robitissun. It's quite obvious that I have no clue at all on how to spell it. But it's cough medecine and it tastes like absolute crap! But I finish the entire dosage in a week. So I have no medicine at all now. And if I don't survive. Well whose to blame? My throat doesn't seem to hurt as much as it did before. Before was like a living nightmare. I could barely swollow anything. Water was a task which I could barely complete. It stung my throat to just put something inside it. So pleasuring myself was something I could not do. I joke I joke. SO yeah I have healed a bit but my health is still pretty bad I guess. But that is not going to stop me from living my life.

I was introduced to a game called HEXIC by Annabella Tran. And my golly it is ADDICTIVE. I can not be bothered at this early of the day to talk in detail about the wonders of such a game. But I will say that once you play it. You will play it non stop. My internet was capped before so I was not able to go on my favourite gaming site which was OMGPOP. But now I am uncapped I can go back to my other daily routine which was playing various games and chatting to complete strangers. Hey, I'm pretty good at it.

Back to the whole Christmas thing. It was good I guess. Not the best Christmas I have had. But not exactly the best either. I am writing a long post because I have not written one in such a long time. And I am quite sure that my followers have missed my rants about nothing. Needless to say, It is 4am in the morning. A time which my eyes should be closed and that my brain should be far into a deep state of dreaming. But, instead, I am writing endlessly about nothing and I will continue doing so until I have no energy what so ever and I pass out. New Years is coming up and in Brisbane people celebrate it in a couple of ways. They either go to the CBD and watch it by the river. Or go to the mountains and watch it from there. The uncool people stay home and watch from their TVs while they have a BBQ. Which is what I'm going to be doing I think. Going to southbank was what I used to do every year as a child. But as you grow up you begin to change. And your ideals of life also begin to change. And watching the fire works from the river, I wasn't very keen on it. I've never really watched the new year celebrations from Mt Cootha. I heard it is amazing. But if I was up there. I think I would be distracted by people having sex in their cars. Because that place is known for that. And I should know. Because I've never been. Anyway. This year has gone way fast. And too fast I think. I like time going fast in my sadness but I like it going slow in times when I am enjoying myself. Lately I have not been sleeping early. Earliest is atleast 2am. All I do is chat to my virtual friends and we keep in touch. But as long as I'm living I am happy. I have lived my life with no regrets so far. There are things which I have done which I am not proud of. But how can you learn to move forward if you're only staying in the same position all your life. I am looking forward to what 2010 will bring. Hopefully a good year, a better year. the best year maybe? I am not sure. But what ever it is I am ready. I am willing to grow more and experience things that will be thrown at me. That is life. You can't run away from your problems. You just prelong what is going to happen. And it's better to face them early because you have more time to heal in a way. We all do things in which we regret. But if we all lived in a perfect world, that would be no fun right? It's wierd how this post changed topics so fast and in so many ways. But this is me saying goodbye for now. I will update soon. FAREWELL!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

It's You



The worlds largest boy band has released a new song!
Well it's not really considered a new song since it's a remix version of their old song.
SM Entertainment decided to release a studio version of 'Neorago'
Which in english means, 'It's You'
The song was remixed for Super Junior's concert
Which will be held, well I'm not sure when it's going to be held actually.
But the song is very good.
They actually did an RNB version of 'Sorry Sorry'.
Which originally was sort of Electro Pop.
The RNB version is good but I prefer the more upbeat original version.
But anyway I'm here to talk about 'It's You'
The original version of this song was very calm.
And the constant soft 'Neorago' echoeing in the background.
Was actually very soothing.
Although I thought I wouldn't want to listen to a remix version.
The Studio version which SME released was actually very good.
The song is identically addictive as the original.
When I heard the song I couldn't wait for a video to be released.
But, I knew SME wouldn't release one.
So I made one MYSELF!

Enjoy it guys!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opGbN6MyChs

Thursday, December 3, 2009

It's Back

Recently I've been feeling a lot weaker.
I eat a lot of food and drink a lot of water
But still,
I feel weak.
It's like theres something wrong with my body
I don't know
Maybe I'm just thinking to deeply into it
But,
Who knows
Maybe what I went through 16 years ago
Might come back.
I sometimes have breathing problems.
And my chest hurts
And my Heart Aches
Not because of a broken heart
But because of pains.
They are slight but they hurt
I know as a child I was really sick
But I thought I've grown stronger.
I'm not too worried about it yet
Maybe I will in the future.
If this does get worst.
But
As of now
I'll be strong
Everybody goes through different pains in their lives
And this is mine
It's just like a mountain being put in front of me.
I either let it block out the sunshine
Or I get over it.

I will get over it :)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Better Days

It feels wierd
After we spoke again
Everything was better
I feel great
Feel fine.
I feel tired though
Because I barely sleep now
I need to do something artsy
Maybe paint or write more songs.
Well my project for this holiday
Is to actually complete a song
Filled with Music and lyrics
All produced on my own!
If I can do that
I will definantly upload on YOUTUBE
For all my supporters to bask in my glory
I am super bored
And I will probably go out to SunnyBank Today
To eat all the food there is
Or play pool
Nah,
I'll just eat Asian BBQ
And some ICE DESSERT!

YAY FOR SUNNYBANK!

A change.

This post isn't an ordinary post.
It's a question.
A question to myself.
Today seems wierd.
I feel different.
I don't seem as happy as I used to be.
It feels as if theres a missing part in my life.
I don't know
Maybe it's just.
I'm just waiting too long.
For something that may never actually come.
I might in the end just actually give up.
I'm putting all this effort in.
And so far
Nothing.

Maybe one day
But now now.
If i do intend on waiting.
How far will I get.
Sighh,
I know I said I wouldn't write another emo post.
But I couldn't help it.

I'll get there
And I'll be strong.
For me..for you..

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Life

Today is a rainy day,
and it is also very cold
I was watching a very sad drama known as 'One Litre of Tears'
After countless tries of trying to obtain the series
I finally got it.

I know that this series is old,
But I have never actually gotten the uportunity to view it,
for myself.
The story is based on a novel which was written by Aya Kito.
The novel is actually comprised of her Diary Entries
And the novel was published shortly before her actual death.
The story is based on her life events
When at the tender age of 15
She is diagnosed with spinocerebellar atrophy
It is a disease which slowly degenerates the ability to
Eat, Talk, Walk and just to live normally
It is a very rare condition which unfortunantly has no cure.


In the series Aya is a young 15 year old who is a keen basketball player
But when her illness strucks she begins to lose her balance
Her mother, which is a health consultant
Begins to question the sudden falls which Aya is currently undergoing
Her mother insists that she takes an examination
During the examination Aya shows symptoms of a rare disease
Later on it becomes certain that Aya suffers from
spinocerebellar atrophy

In the first episode
Aya is on her way to the high school entrance exam
When she suddenly falls asleep on the bus
She quickly tries to run to the school to make it to the test
But collapses and knocks down several bikes on the bike rack.
She looks up and notices a guy watching
He begins to pick up the bikes and she helps him
Like in most asian dramas,
it begins to rain!
She appoligised for causing such a hassle
And tries to make it to the exam
Asou which is the guys name
Insists that she gets on his bike
So that he could give her a ride to the school.
They both don't make it to the exam in time
However,
The school teacher allows them to finish the exam some other time
They both make it into the school

There was a particalur episode which got to much really deeply.
The episode involved Aya's brother Hiroki
Hiroki was a keen soccer player
And his aiming in shooting into the net was not so good.
Although Aya struggled to walk she still gave him tips on how to shoot better.
Surpisingly enough
After she gave him some tips
Hiroki made it to the socccer team.
He told all the other players that his sister was going to watch.
And that she was beautiful and she was the one who taught him how to shoot better.
With this being told the other students could not wait to meet her.
One night Aya was stiching Hiroki's soccer uniform.
She struggled but she continued effortless
She stiched his name onto it.
Along with the help of her younger sister Ako.
The next day Aya and Ako both went shopping.
Aya wanted to buy Hiroki a sports towel for when he plays soccer.
In the shops a few of Hiroki's team mates sees her there.
And they begin to see her walking awkwardly.
That afternoon Hiroki is training how to shoot.
And the guys who saw Aya come to him.
They begin to tease Aya infront of him
Hiroki does nothing and stands there looking all sad.
The next day Hiroki forgets his pass for soccer training.
Aya's mum tells Ako to bring it over to him
While shes there the guys begin to mock Aya again.
While Hiroki does nothing.
Ako gets upset and pushes the guy into the ground
She then grabs Hiroki and takes him home.
Ako yells at Hiroki
Questioning him why his so ashamed to protect Aya
And she says,
That if she had the disease she doesn't think she would have the strength
to do what Aya does.
To smile,
While everyone around you is giving you discriminitive looks.
Ako continues yelling and saying the Aya is amazing.
That she is strong
That even though she is weak
She spent her sleeping hours stitching his name into his uniform.
Little do the family now that Aya is in the kitchen listening.
Aya goes outside and begins to cry.
She comes back and pretends that nothing ever happened.
And she also tells Hiroki that she cannot make it to the soccer match.
She hands him the sports towel that
Her and Ako purchased.
In the end
Hiroki realises what Aya has done for him.
And sends her a card that she must watch him play soccer
She does come and he shows to his team mates how proud of her he is.
And that she is beautiful.
Well, she is.

This drama series touches onto the seriousness of life.
Even if it is just for a second
Allows us to put ourself in Aya's situation.
Question ourself if we could have the strength that she has had.
It also shows have vulnerable we are.
And that life could be amazing one day
and the next it could spiral out of control
The drama has taught me to value everday
And always look forward to the days which are yet to come.
Because in all honesty.
Life is too short
And we shouldn't spend the short amount of our time.
complaining.
It also has enabled me to view the trouble that others have
And that I am willing to help others more.
And that I will keep my friends very close to me.
When things happen in our life
We shouldn't question why
Why it happened to us
But embrace it
And work around it
And allow ourself to become stronger because of it.
The more time we spend complaining
The less time we have to do what we actually have.


This is probably the most emo blog i will write,
I will write happy stuff.
But as for today.
My post is deep.
<3